Only Love
Only Love
A YEAR AGO today, I had lunch with my boyfriend
and took the opportunity to complain to him.
"Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give
me
any flowers?"
He raised his eyebrow.
"Why should I give you flowers? You are not my
anyone."
"Then... you should at least give me a card!" I
pouted my lips, hurt by his
tone.
"I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an e-
card."
"E-card??"
That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he
is.
"You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting."
I
excitedly smiled and ran
to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail. Even
though he wouldn't use any
romantic words, I still looked forward to the
card.
"I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the
card!"
As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my
computer and got online.
Staring at the empty inbox, I began to reminisce
about how we met. Maybe no
one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were
actually neighbors. Our
homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were
kids, we liked to fight with
each other all day long. We were only neighbors.
At that time, I hated my
parents for making us live next to him.
At that time, I had a crush on a senior. After a
while, I found out that the
senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I
cried about it, he silently
passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me
in
his arms.
"I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly
comforted me.
I cried in his arms the whole night, and began
to
see him in a different
way. Things began to change between us. We still
fought all the time, but he
started to look at me differently. And I blushed
and my heart beat faster
when he was near.
We both knew: we fell in love with each other.
Even with this knowledge, neither of us said
anything. Even though we would
not be able to resist and kissed each other
constantly. Even though we cared
about each other's every moves. Both of us
refused to admit our love.
Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn't
say we loved each other. We
didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until
he saw me share dinner with
a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited
for me in front of my door
and said that he would take me out to dinner on
Valentine's Day from then
on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But
I nodded and accepted his
request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's
Day together. On the
surface, we may have left each other. But in
reality, we were still
together. We spent every Valentine's Day
together
but each year became more
dreary than the next because he never told me he
loved me even with all my
hints.
Still facing the empty inbox, I suddenly grew
very angry. He wouldn't say it
and wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean?
Who did he think I was? I
called his cell phone.
"Hello." He picked up the phone.
"I didn't receive the card." I immediately
showed
my displeasure.
"You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy.
"But I sent it." He was really busy but I didn't
care.
"I didn't receive it. Send it again."
"Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good
enough??" He said with
impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is
that how lovers speak to
each other?
"Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't
have to pick me up tonight.
I'll eat dinner by myself."
"Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy."
"I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears
rolled down my cheeks.
Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation?
We've gone out for so many
years and spent countless Valentine's Day
together. I never received any
flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a
little e-card. Is that too
much to ask for?? I unplugged the phone from the
wall and turned off my cell
phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations.
After I returned to the hospital, I instructed
the receptionist not to
forward me any phone calls. I wanted to
concentrate on work. Because there
were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1
hour later and forgot about
our argument.
"Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."
As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill
sound of an ambulance sounded
outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the
emergency medics hurriedly
wheeled in a gurney.
"What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic.
Everyone else were trying to help put the
patient
on the gurney. He was
covered with blood.
"Car accident." The medic replied.
"Very serious. He may die." I nodded and ran to
the operating room with
them.
When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man
had already stopped
breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped.
"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the
nurses.
Saving people is our duty. We can't and
shouldn't
lose our calm.
But when I saw who laid on the operating table,
I
lost my calm. That person
was my BOYFRIEND!
"NO..." I stood in shock.
"NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously
shocked his body.
His body bounced up and down from the shocks.
The
scared nurses went to find
another doctor, to tell him that I was crazy.
I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just
wanted to save my lover. Even
though we fought all the time. Even though he
never showed me his love. I
still wanted to save him. He still owed me a
card. He couldn't die! I threw
away the paddles and began to press on his
heart.
I pressed with all my
strength, hoping it would revive him, but he
didn't wake up. He didn't even
say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes
closed, punishing me with
his silence.
Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I
couldn't see clearly
anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no
sounds could come out of my
mouth.
"It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm
sorry." Dr. Jian patted me
on the shoulder.
They knew each other and ate together once. I
introduced them.
"He can't die." I shook my head.
"He can't die!!" I struggled to run to him.
"Dr. SHU, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped
me.
"I understand what you're going through, but
you're a doctor."
"Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular
person. How can Dr. Jian
understand how I feel? I've loved him for so
many
years that it's become a
habit. How can I just throw away a habit?
Besides, he still owed me a card.
"I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran
to him again and tried to
knock the life back into his body.
"Take her away!"
That day, I lost my control and my
professionalism. And that day happened to
be Valentine's Day.
Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left
work early that day. They
told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried
to call me several times
but couldn't reach me. Worried, he drove to the
hospital to find me and got
hit by a large truck on the way.
When I heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed
him. Just because of an
unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my
privilege to be childish. Like
an abandoned cat, I couldn't even cry anymore.
After his death, I couldn't cry anymore,
regardless of how touching the plot
or how tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't
affect me anymore.
I turned on computer after a year later, even
though I know no one will send
me a mail, I still hoped that someone will
remember me on this day.
GOSH....I have.... 100 emails! Who would be
bored
enough to send me 100
junk mail? I was just about to delete them all
when I received another mail,
and this one said: "Because of system error, we
could not send these until
today. We apologize for the delay."
The sender was my BOYFRIEND!!! I looked at the
1st mail. It showed the send
date is last year's Valentine's Day. My heart
began to beat fast. Could he
have sent these? With a trembling hand, I opened
the mail.
The first thing that popped up was a gorgeous
red
rose set against green
leaves. Then a beautiful melody began to
play...."Only Love". I couldn't
believe it. The rose was so beautiful and the
music was so dreamy.
I almost thought I was in a fantasy. Most
touching of all were the words
underneath the rose, because the words read like
a beautiful poem.
"Only love can make a memory. Only love can make
a moment last.
You were there and all the world was young and
all it's songs unsung.
And I remember you then when love was all, all
you were living for,
and how you gave that love to me...."
The lyrics of this song fits our love so
closely.
When he was alive, my
world was so young. Every day, I could find a
something different to fight
with him about. But after he left, my life is
only left with memories and
coldness that will never go away. When I read
these words, my tears
unconsciously came, wetting the keyboard. I
replied 100 times, and "Only
Love" played 100 times.
In this cold Valentine's night, the line that's
been broken for LAST ONE
YEAR finally got RECONNECTED.
Moral of the story :
====================
Try to express out your feeling towards each
other so that both know what u
are thinking!!
Only Love~
A YEAR AGO today, I had lunch with my boyfriend
and took the opportunity to complain to him.
"Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give
me
any flowers?"
He raised his eyebrow.
"Why should I give you flowers? You are not my
anyone."
"Then... you should at least give me a card!" I
pouted my lips, hurt by his
tone.
"I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an e-
card."
"E-card??"
That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he
is.
"You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting."
I
excitedly smiled and ran
to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail. Even
though he wouldn't use any
romantic words, I still looked forward to the
card.
"I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the
card!"
As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my
computer and got online.
Staring at the empty inbox, I began to reminisce
about how we met. Maybe no
one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were
actually neighbors. Our
homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were
kids, we liked to fight with
each other all day long. We were only neighbors.
At that time, I hated my
parents for making us live next to him.
At that time, I had a crush on a senior. After a
while, I found out that the
senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I
cried about it, he silently
passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me
in
his arms.
"I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly
comforted me.
I cried in his arms the whole night, and began
to
see him in a different
way. Things began to change between us. We still
fought all the time, but he
started to look at me differently. And I blushed
and my heart beat faster
when he was near.
We both knew: we fell in love with each other.
Even with this knowledge, neither of us said
anything. Even though we would
not be able to resist and kissed each other
constantly. Even though we cared
about each other's every moves. Both of us
refused to admit our love.
Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn't
say we loved each other. We
didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until
he saw me share dinner with
a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited
for me in front of my door
and said that he would take me out to dinner on
Valentine's Day from then
on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But
I nodded and accepted his
request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's
Day together. On the
surface, we may have left each other. But in
reality, we were still
together. We spent every Valentine's Day
together
but each year became more
dreary than the next because he never told me he
loved me even with all my
hints.
Still facing the empty inbox, I suddenly grew
very angry. He wouldn't say it
and wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean?
Who did he think I was? I
called his cell phone.
"Hello." He picked up the phone.
"I didn't receive the card." I immediately
showed
my displeasure.
"You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy.
"But I sent it." He was really busy but I didn't
care.
"I didn't receive it. Send it again."
"Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good
enough??" He said with
impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is
that how lovers speak to
each other?
"Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't
have to pick me up tonight.
I'll eat dinner by myself."
"Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy."
"I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears
rolled down my cheeks.
Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation?
We've gone out for so many
years and spent countless Valentine's Day
together. I never received any
flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a
little e-card. Is that too
much to ask for?? I unplugged the phone from the
wall and turned off my cell
phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations.
After I returned to the hospital, I instructed
the receptionist not to
forward me any phone calls. I wanted to
concentrate on work. Because there
were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1
hour later and forgot about
our argument.
"Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."
As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill
sound of an ambulance sounded
outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the
emergency medics hurriedly
wheeled in a gurney.
"What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic.
Everyone else were trying to help put the
patient
on the gurney. He was
covered with blood.
"Car accident." The medic replied.
"Very serious. He may die." I nodded and ran to
the operating room with
them.
When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man
had already stopped
breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped.
"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the
nurses.
Saving people is our duty. We can't and
shouldn't
lose our calm.
But when I saw who laid on the operating table,
I
lost my calm. That person
was my BOYFRIEND!
"NO..." I stood in shock.
"NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously
shocked his body.
His body bounced up and down from the shocks.
The
scared nurses went to find
another doctor, to tell him that I was crazy.
I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just
wanted to save my lover. Even
though we fought all the time. Even though he
never showed me his love. I
still wanted to save him. He still owed me a
card. He couldn't die! I threw
away the paddles and began to press on his
heart.
I pressed with all my
strength, hoping it would revive him, but he
didn't wake up. He didn't even
say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes
closed, punishing me with
his silence.
Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I
couldn't see clearly
anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no
sounds could come out of my
mouth.
"It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm
sorry." Dr. Jian patted me
on the shoulder.
They knew each other and ate together once. I
introduced them.
"He can't die." I shook my head.
"He can't die!!" I struggled to run to him.
"Dr. SHU, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped
me.
"I understand what you're going through, but
you're a doctor."
"Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular
person. How can Dr. Jian
understand how I feel? I've loved him for so
many
years that it's become a
habit. How can I just throw away a habit?
Besides, he still owed me a card.
"I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran
to him again and tried to
knock the life back into his body.
"Take her away!"
That day, I lost my control and my
professionalism. And that day happened to
be Valentine's Day.
Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left
work early that day. They
told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried
to call me several times
but couldn't reach me. Worried, he drove to the
hospital to find me and got
hit by a large truck on the way.
When I heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed
him. Just because of an
unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my
privilege to be childish. Like
an abandoned cat, I couldn't even cry anymore.
After his death, I couldn't cry anymore,
regardless of how touching the plot
or how tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't
affect me anymore.
I turned on computer after a year later, even
though I know no one will send
me a mail, I still hoped that someone will
remember me on this day.
GOSH....I have.... 100 emails! Who would be
bored
enough to send me 100
junk mail? I was just about to delete them all
when I received another mail,
and this one said: "Because of system error, we
could not send these until
today. We apologize for the delay."
The sender was my BOYFRIEND!!! I looked at the
1st mail. It showed the send
date is last year's Valentine's Day. My heart
began to beat fast. Could he
have sent these? With a trembling hand, I opened
the mail.
The first thing that popped up was a gorgeous
red
rose set against green
leaves. Then a beautiful melody began to
play...."Only Love". I couldn't
believe it. The rose was so beautiful and the
music was so dreamy.
I almost thought I was in a fantasy. Most
touching of all were the words
underneath the rose, because the words read like
a beautiful poem.
"Only love can make a memory. Only love can make
a moment last.
You were there and all the world was young and
all it's songs unsung.
And I remember you then when love was all, all
you were living for,
and how you gave that love to me...."
The lyrics of this song fits our love so
closely.
When he was alive, my
world was so young. Every day, I could find a
something different to fight
with him about. But after he left, my life is
only left with memories and
coldness that will never go away. When I read
these words, my tears
unconsciously came, wetting the keyboard. I
replied 100 times, and "Only
Love" played 100 times.
In this cold Valentine's night, the line that's
been broken for LAST ONE
YEAR finally got RECONNECTED.
Moral of the story :
====================
Try to express out your feeling towards each
other so that both know what u
are thinking!!
Only Love~
This entry was posted
on Sunday, January 09, 2005 at 7:28 PM.
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